Worst Stereotypical Lesson?

[bluewoodboarder]

Hey guys and girls
What are generally the worst lessons that you get. You know those ones that right when you find out about it you're like oh man this is probably gonna suck.

No offense, but for me its the 13-14 year old girl group lessons. I hate these lessons, especially when theres a foot of fresh powder on the mountain. Of course every one of these girls will have a craptastic rental board with clicker bindings. Remember that foot of powder, well it is now packed into each of their bindings. None of them know how or try hard enough to manage to get their boot into their binding, so you must travel around to each of them and get it in for them. After all this they sit in the snow 90 percent of the time and don't try the other 10 percent. I've had exceptions to these where the girls are pretty cool and actually try and whatnot but in general these lessons suck!

[Snow Wolf]

The one where you have an insanely wide range of aptitude and ability! As an example, a group lesson I had which was large (14 people) and we were understaffed as usual. Had the people who had been on a board a little and were very athletically inclined, had some who were very happy go lucky and wanted to learn, had the husband and wife where the wife was drug along against her will and was a total bee-atch about the whole thing and as usual a couple of the "I`ve fallen and I can`t get up" types who probably couldnt walk from one end of the mall to the other without several rest breaks...... So what`s an instructor to do? Well you do this juggling act by grouping the great learners together, introducing a new skill and sending them to the bottom to practice, then wait on the husband-wife to quit fighting so you can teach the rest to sideslip down the hill....( oh yeah...wait for the one teenage girl to hang up the cell phone so you can proceed) and then hold the hands of each "I`ve fallen" client and get them down, one by one. You spend the entire run walking and have a fellow instructor or ski patroler take your board to the bottom because you aint goin to ride it this lesson!
Those are the days that I think washing the dishes in the lodge for the free pass is a better deal...:) But then I get the college groups for night riding and we go run the blues, blacks, park and pipe and thats why I love my job.

[DragonUSMC]

I dont mind picking people up a thousand times. Or if they are struggleing to learn... the ones i hate, are the one who have seen it on TV and play video games and therefore do NOT need to learn ANYTHING I am attempting to teach them.

The local college has a snowboard / ski program which i run and i get about 60 riders for 1 lesson each week for 6 weeks. i gave my brother the lesson 1 group. Someone was giving him lip and was like "do we have to stay for this whole lesson? i just want to go out and ride!" my brother was like "I'm not your mom... do whatever. I'll see you in the ski patrol shack later bro..."

As we were packing up for the night that guy was in the ski patrol room, attemped to hit my rail-a-saurs (60' down flat down) face planted on the rail... the kid couldnt even side slip down the hill yet.

[Snow Wolf]

Oh that`s priceless! Too bad he got hurt, but in a way it is Karma.....yeah the know it all types are high on my " just go away now" list :)

[CasiBot]

Nah i think the lesson when you get an i cant person is the worst !!
i love teaching !! an im more than happy to spend the day in the snow helping people up and all but when you get someone who sits there all day just saying i cant do it !!
without even tying wins me up a bit !!

or when there's a whole load of fresh out and instead of getting an advanced ripping lesson you end up with the really young kids !! ( baby sitting gig )

both kinda suck !!

lol !!

[CasiBot]

dragonumsc

if the kid cant even edge or sideslip !!
who the **** let him near a rail ??
lol !!

had bad news written all over it !!

[JNPsnowboard]

Uncoordinated 10 year olds that weigh around 150 pounds and expect me to catch them at the end of the bunny hill =) Happened more than once...lol

[CasiBot]

Holy **** !!

are you kiddin ??
lucky !!
ive never had that !!
yet !!


10 yearolds that are like 150 pounds ??
catchin lil hotties that are like around 120 is more my thing !!
lol !!

(hoping i got the right conversion of stone to pounds)

lmao !!

[DragonUSMC]

dragonumsc

if the kid cant even edge or sideslip !!
who the **** let him near a rail ??
lol !!

had bad news written all over it !!

Once they leave my lesson area they are on their own... if they chose to go to the park and wreck themselves... hey by all means, go get worked. =/

[JNPsnowboard]

Holy **** !!

are you kiddin ??
lucky !!
ive never had that !!
yet !!


10 yearolds that are like 150 pounds ??
catchin lil hotties that are like around 120 is more my thing !!
lol !!

(hoping i got the right conversion of stone to pounds)

lmao !!
Haha nope I'm not kidding! One took me down and kept going, went right over the plastic fence thing at the end of the hill and into the parents watching the lessons. SO EMBARASSING!

[DragonUSMC]

heh... my newbie hill w/ magic carpet kinda has a fall off into the woods at the end of the hill... about a 5' drop. BIG ORANGE SNOW FENCE at the bottom... so i had this grp lesson and we were at the end of it so i had them all kinda on their own practicing big radius turns. I ended the lesson and pulled them all together but noticed i was missing someone... then i saw part of the snowfence was destoryed... yeah my fat kid went through it. Like 10 mins before that... he never said a word... just sat there in the hole... =P

[snwbrder3384]

my favorite of all time. Waitin for everyone to get there asking a few students if they played any sports, one little overweight kid answered " 1080 snowboarding". this was 3 or 4 years ago. i was very glad i had mirrored lenses on at that moment. it acually didnt end up as bad as i thought.

[DragonUSMC]

my favorite of all time. Waitin for everyone to get there asking a few students if they played any sports, one little overweight kid answered " 1080 snowboarding". this was 3 or 4 years ago. i was very glad i had mirrored lenses on at that moment. it acually didnt end up as bad as i thought.

Heh... i always say to the little guys. "ok, who's played *insert extreme sports game here* ?" they will all raise their hands and start getting excited.

Then I'm like "Well crap guys / gals we dont need to start with the basics... we better just start on the switch 7 rodeos, maybe some big lofty fronties."

The best part, was one time i got called out on it when we were about 3/4 finished with the lesson.

"Jay, when are we gonna work on those trick seven rodeos? Should i go get my helmet?" It was adroable... I showed him how to do some wheelie bars and blunts on the bunny hill. that kept him busy the rest of the day =)

[Spin240]

I dont even know where to begin this list....

1) People who cant even get themselves off the snow.. they havnt done anything physical in the last 10 years and expect to be able to snowboard...

2)The 13 year old with size 15s.... we dont even have 15s for rentals, let alone this gangly kid with snowshoes for feet is gonna be able to ride anything because his toe and heel drag are immense..

3)The bitches(Male and Female) who come up here thinking it is all vacation and never actually comprehend that snowboarding is a SPORT and you will have to use MUSCLES and waste my time all day.... IF you cant hold your own body weight up, get out of my lesson

4) 15 year old princesses who dont even want to be there....

5) The wife/girlfriend who was dragged along who doesnt give a ****...

6) The girls out there just to pick up cute guys... dont get me wrong, i looove the ladies, but these are usually the same little princesses mentioned above...

7) This is a broad one, but I could pick these all apart and make their own explanation.... People who dont understand RIGHT FROM LEFT, People who dont understand TOESIDE and HEELSIDE no matter how much i explain it... People who dont understand UPHILL EDGE and DOWNHILL EDGE no matter how much I explain it... People who stand as tall as a friggin oak tree and NEVER BEND THEIR KNEES ..." Bend your knees!!! Bend Your Knees!!" "I am." "NO, your KNEES!" as they are just crouching their upper body all day long...DONT YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR KNEES ARE GOD DAMNIT!!!!

8) Little Mr. Know It All who has 20 minutes on the bunnyhill and decides he's ready for something steeper...

9) PEOPLE ON ***BURTON AIRS****, with the swallow tail, does anyone remember these?? if you have one, HANG IT ON YOUR WALL, DO NOT COME TO MY LESSON WITH IT

10) The people who lean on their BACK LEG ALLLLLLL DAYY!!!.... "PUT PRESSURE ON YOUR FRONT LEG!"" ""I AM!"" "NOOO, your FRONT leg""..

ok... ill stop now, but there is so many more....

[Naked Hiker]

What about the kids that answer their cell phones durning class. I saw that a few times......haha

[phillyboy]

Vote for Phillyboy

[PapaHerb]

Star Trek is for dorks.

I would never do anything Star Trek related or watch the nerdy show.
I've never met John DeLancy and had him sign a photo. I would never meet Jimmie Doohan at a computer show and have him sign a Generations poster. I didn't see George Takei at a convention. I don't know any Klingon words or phrases like " You're nose is shiny". I don't think that the good of the many outweighs the good of the few. I don't know what a mind meld is or why Spock did it to McCoy. I don't anything about Jean Luc Picards artificial heart. It's just a dumb show for losers.


Peace and long life
Live long and prosper

[Nephyte]

^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

That was just so random...

[NCC-1701]

FASCINATING
http://www.intergate.com/~cccp/pics/kook.jpg

[sugbushridr]

the worst is when u get younger kids that think they r the ****, so they talk themselves up in the lodge then when u actually get out there they cant do anything and they give up. you try and correct them but they dont listen and continue to tell you that they can actually do it!!!!! ugh it is sooo annoying

[DragonUSMC]

I dont even know where to begin this list....

1) People who cant even get themselves off the snow.. they havnt done anything physical in the last 10 years and expect to be able to snowboard...

2)The 13 year old with size 15s.... we dont even have 15s for rentals, let alone this gangly kid with snowshoes for feet is gonna be able to ride anything because his toe and heel drag are immense..

3)The bitches(Male and Female) who come up here thinking it is all vacation and never actually comprehend that snowboarding is a SPORT and you will have to use MUSCLES and waste my time all day.... IF you cant hold your own body weight up, get out of my lesson

4) 15 year old princesses who dont even want to be there....

5) The wife/girlfriend who was dragged along who doesnt give a ****...

6) The girls out there just to pick up cute guys... dont get me wrong, i looove the ladies, but these are usually the same little princesses mentioned above...

7) This is a broad one, but I could pick these all apart and make their own explanation.... People who dont understand RIGHT FROM LEFT, People who dont understand TOESIDE and HEELSIDE no matter how much i explain it... People who dont understand UPHILL EDGE and DOWNHILL EDGE no matter how much I explain it... People who stand as tall as a friggin oak tree and NEVER BEND THEIR KNEES ..." Bend your knees!!! Bend Your Knees!!" "I am." "NO, your KNEES!" as they are just crouching their upper body all day long...DONT YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR KNEES ARE GOD DAMNIT!!!!

8) Little Mr. Know It All who has 20 minutes on the bunnyhill and decides he's ready for something steeper...

9) PEOPLE ON ***BURTON AIRS****, with the swallow tail, does anyone remember these?? if you have one, HANG IT ON YOUR WALL, DO NOT COME TO MY LESSON WITH IT

10) The people who lean on their BACK LEG ALLLLLLL DAYY!!!.... "PUT PRESSURE ON YOUR FRONT LEG!"" ""I AM!"" "NOOO, your FRONT leg""..

ok... ill stop now, but there is so many more....



This is the best post ever.... I'm hanging it in my ski school room and requiring all my instructors to read it.

[snwbrder3384]

ditto ^^^^

[NCC-1701]

You hit the nail on the head and I would add one more that drives me nuts...I call them the "I can`t" people. No matter what it is their first response is, "I can`t"

Grrrrrrrrrrr!

[MonsieurRipper]

GAH! I was teaching this girl. 16, out of shape and waaaay too much pride to accept that she had to actually take the time to learn something. She was one of the:

"I've fallen and it's not that I can't get up, it's that I've just fallen on my ass, and knocked everything out of place. So I have to readjust my gloves, my helmet, my bindings and my bootlaces. And then I decide I have a wicked coffee craving and take a coffee break for half an hour in the middle of the snow. But it's not because I'm lazy, out of shape and whiny. It's because I'm dehydrated and this board sucks and I hit my head when I fell on my ass."

She had no regard for any safety rules or general rules of the mountain. I am a patient person. If my friends were to describe me, they'd say I'm a patient calm and oddly stoic person under the right circumstances. This was the wrong circumstance. I got so damn fed up, I saw my friend and dumped this girl on my buddy while I took a few runs.

They didn't even make it through the run together. My friend left her in the upper half of the run and met up with me at the bottom.

After all the mayhem, she says the next day: "Yeah Katie said I was a natural. I picked it up the first day."

I mean it's not like I'm a bad teacher. I've tought 5 people. (not much I know, but still not bad for a 16yr old girl right?) 4 of those are success stories. One even bought my a beer lmao. But this one... It makes me grind my teeth thinking about it.


One more thing. We were at a local mountain for 7 hours. She made 3 runs and a lunch break.

[DragonUSMC]

^ this is exactly why its easier to dump them on a snowboard instructor rather then trying to teach them yourself =) We have ways of making them talk!... er... i mean ride.

[nysurf]

Hmm. thanks guys. that job is definitely not for me.. really. i thought it would be cool. but F**K that.. lol.. I DONT have the patience to deal with kids liek that. I always tried hard and listened and was repsectful. I couldnt deal with kids liek that.

[cgorman19446]

Children. Most of all the ones who have no athletic ability at all. The children who play video games for exercise. I have come to the conclusion that kids who play soccer pick it up very fast.

[Chaos1a1]

I dunno, I kinda like the chubby ones....they're motivated by food, so I....oh man this one time I had a bunch of kids and everyone wanted to know what time it was and I was almost lunch time and boom this kid was gone!! I was like where did he go, searched up and down the mountain for him and I was like **** I can't loose a kid...there he was at the bottom FINISHING his lunch! but to my point fat I mean over weight people in general especially the younger ones are very motivated by food. it was funny. and then I had this one kids group and there was miss 11 or something know it all with the whole pink outfit and board and when it was time to break up the group in the afternoon she was like I don't wanna go with you, I was like cool, you'll be in that group over there, she was like no....please let me go in your group, I was like sorry I'm taking these kids upto blue and you wanted to be in that group..have fun! lol her mom gave me a tip cause she knew she was going to be a handful...wish I knew that before hand...lol But All in All I really do like teaching!! my best achievment was this chick that was like mid 40's has had several '1st' time leasons and never progressed, needless to say she graduated that day!! :D

[dirtyjerz]

i want to teach but teaching anyone anyhting that they dont get the first time i say it bothers me
but i wonder i its worth it to see someoen in their first time stand up and get it and fall in love with it and become one of us but the stuck ups and the jeans and cotton gloves ppl would piss me off

[Chaos1a1]

i want to teach but teaching anyone anyhting that they dont get the first time i say it bothers me
but i wonder i its worth it to see someoen in their first time stand up and get it and fall in love with it and become one of us but the stuck ups and the jeans and cotton gloves ppl would piss me off

well ppl are going to dress how they're going to dress there no doubt about it, but if they can ride and how well they ride is up to you. honestly who gives a crap how someone dresses it's all opinion, it's all how they ride..bottom line :D

[snowboardfreek58]

haha ok get this, this fat kid like probably 8 was riding with an instuctor and he fell and he was so fat he actually rolled, like down the mountian, and i was cracking up on the lift and the instructor just put his hands in his face and shook his head, this kid rolled as far as his board would let him, it was really funny, i mean im a chubbyer kid, but i love playing sports and i find that it really doesnt matter how fat a kid is, its how much they want it, (exeption: the really fat obease people) and if they skate or surf i think that helps a little cause they have some sort of balance..

[RideTilIDie]

So this past winter I was riding down the hill on my way into work, and I saw my (former)roomie who is an instructor, and I was being a dumbass that day, so I rode past the learning area and started yelling YEA SCOTTY!!!!!!!!!!

He looked up and waved/laughed. At the same time his student is in an uber gaper stance, panics as he looks over, and THWAP! he fell right on the face.

good laughs for about an hour after that one

[Sledder20]

Spin240, that was the best post EVER. You know what is the all time worst, giving your friend, relative, girlfriend a lesson or throwing them into a lesson. BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO LISTEN THE MOST!

[Gl0KK]

I hate the cryers you know the 10 years who fall a couple times and start blubbering like babies and you cant get a word out of them for the next ten minuets. yay i love those lessons =/

[HighmountBrdr]

Haha nope I'm not kidding! One took me down and kept going, went right over the plastic fence thing at the end of the hill and into the parents watching the lessons. SO EMBARASSING!

Ok so heres a better one 300 pound man on the bunnie hill hitting and bending the plastic fencing over and making the local paper the next day for it. O and he ran into the instructor hut where we were watching it all from.:lol:

[Spin240]

Well, my mountain has been open a lil over a week so we'll see what new additions people bring to my list :-)

BTW, no one come to killington, its not enough trails for all the people that came this weekend... tryin to stuff 100lbs of shiit in a 10lb bag

[ericwaldron]

i'd agree with most of you...the worst is the "I can'ts"...a "I've seen this on TV/I'm good in the video game" rider can usually be straightened out with a "why dont you ride down about 50 ft. and I'll catch up"...(after they fall in the first 10ft, they start to get the idea they need you)

as far as catching people, i only tried that once...a friend of mine i was teaching to snowboard (a particularly attractive female...) was losing control...so i stepped in to "save the day"...well she ran into me, i skidded on the ice, went down, with her falling on top of me...we slowly skidded a few feet and she made no effort to get up quickly...which usually would be fine, except her dad was standing 3ft away, and not looking very happy that his baby was all over some guy (and i got the feeling he would rather take that out on me)

[Chello0o]

I tried to teach my best friend how to snowboard once...

You know how sometimes you can just look at a person and you can tell they were just not ment to snowboard....well...thats her..WOw. I got her a lesson after about 2 hours of me trying to teach her and even then it was still bad news...

[DragonUSMC]

^it does help to be an actual instructor... some of those people sometimes have turned out to be better students then the ones i thought would rock.

[linz]

wow some of these gave me a good laugh. and yes i agree about spin240's being great.
I've been helping out friends when they are just starting out, which, me not being an instructor i'm never good at it, but i am helpful (cause they all ended up doing good, and they love it just as much as I do). I would be an instructor if I lived closer to a mountain tho.
--The thing is that snowboarding is a cool image to everyone practically, so they try it out even when they shouldn't. And all of you guys (instructors) see it with the examples you have given. Much respect to ya.

Although i met an instructor when i was like i guess my second trip and she gave me a free short lesson, truth is it didn't help at all, I never understood a word until i just felt myself doing the right thing. lol. But that was only her; I've also ran into instructors much more helpful.

[DragonUSMC]

^it all depends... some people are better at their jobs then other... some instructors take it very serious where other just look at it as a way to hit on chicks and get a free lift pass.

so it really depends on what catagory instructor you get.

[burton brder]

I tried to teach my best friend how to snowboard once...

You know how sometimes you can just look at a person and you can tell they were just not ment to snowboard....well...thats her..WOw. I got her a lesson after about 2 hours of me trying to teach her and even then it was still bad news...
like Erin?

[Chello0o]

haha, erin....funny....but so true...

[Spin240]

Its been a year since anyone has touched this thread.

Who has some new additions that have happened for worst lessons? lol

[Fianny]

yeh surely the most annoying thing is people just not even trying... i remember when i was first taking lessons back in the good old days i was in france with a mate and the instructor kept shouting "stand up, STAND UP!" at her cos she kept bending her body instead of her knees and "put more weight on your front foot!" all the while i was doing quite well and just getting fuked off at having to wait all the time for her!

[snowboardinis4luvers]

I Hate the kids that think they know more than you.
And you try advising them. They ignore you and then it feels like your just babysitting

[dirtyjerz]

When there's a lesson with 2 kids, friends of course, and one gets it and one doesn't, and like you wanna make the good kid better and the other kid cant even keep up, so the other kid doesn't get as much out of the lesson that he could get out of it.

[Fianny]

yeh its quite good in Val Thorens, they have quite a good set up, cos you see that happening but they have say 2 classes running at about the same level then they mix the classes up as the day or week goes on so that the better guys are together and can progress more while the guys with more to work on can do that without being left behind

[dirtyjerz]

Ok i had a few doosies yesterday,

1) kid would not stop talking just blah blah blah. i can safely say the super intelligent kids like this one, are worse snowboarders than the the kids that are a little slower. oh and this kid is coming back next week.
2) i had a pair of brothers (one 4 one 7) the 4 yr old just isnt gonna get it, im sorry put him in ski wee and bring him back in a couple years. the 7 yr old got it, and i was basically not paying attention to the 4 yr old, adn concentrated on getting the older kid better. occasionally i would walk over to the little one and help him out with his bindings or whatever but otherwise i left him be.

on a lighter note, i love seeing kids ive taugh in the past ripping it down the hill by themselves, and enjoying like i do. thats what its all about after all.